Psalm 69

I'm not a bad swimmer.
At least I didn't used to be. Now that I'm 56 years old and carrying some extra luggage...maybe I should admit I'm not a bad floater.
Anyway.
Many years ago Jan and I lived in Mesquite, Texas. We drove over to Fort Worth to visit some of her relatives. They lived near Lake Worth and had a Hobie Cat catamaran on the lake.
The guy I was visiting insisted I join him for a trip around the lake on that thing.
The weather was not ideal. In fact the waves were surprisingly high for a lake, even such a large lake.
I was nervous about entrusting my life with that guy but he insisted that he had trained with a premier sailboat captain. And he was sure I'd have a good time.
Boy was he wrong.
We got that boat out on the water and it flew! I knew nothing about sailing. And my captain gave me simple instructions like, "Don't let that boom hit you."
We skimmed across that rough lake at an exhilarating speed.
Then it was time to come back. Jan's relative gave me some quick instructions about something he called "tacking." I don't think I ever gave it any thought before then, but I soon found out how a sailboat can travel in the opposite direction as the wind. You have to "tack." Suffice to say my job was to stay out of the way of the sail's boom because it frequently swung back and forth to propel the boat against the wind.
And there was wind. Way too much wind.
That catamaran got out of hand and flipped over.
And I mean flipped.
It went completely upside down with the mast straight down into the water and all the rigging and the sail coming completely off the mast and boom.
At this point I knew we were in trouble.
There were no other boats out on that lake. None of them were stupid enough to be out on such rough waves. I hadn't put a life jacket on and neither did the guy I was with.
It took us some time to even get the boat upright. And we were now dead in the water without the sail.
So here was the plan. I was to get into the water and grab the bow and face the boat into the wind so this guy could rerig the sail.
I ended up holding that boat into the wind for at least an hour while I treaded water and bobbed up and down with the waves that seemed to get bigger and bigger.
I became exhausted. I can honestly say that during those minutes of exhaustion and fatigue I became convinced that this was the end o fmy life. I really did not think I was going to survive. I was barely hanging onto the bow and my legs were rubber. I had swallowed way too much of Lake Worth. I had an overwhelming sense of despair. My life passed before my eyes in a way that is hard to describe. My surroundings became surreal.
And then suddenly it was done.
The guy managed to get the sail rigged. I managed to get back onto that thing. We managed to get back to the dock.
We were pretty quiet after that.
He knew how mad I was and I hope he knew how lucky he was that I didn't have an ounce of strength left in me.
Which brings me back to the here and now.
I'm tired.
Maybe even exhausted.
I've been trying to keep that bow of my family and my own life into the wind for some time and I'm feeling rubbery.
One day last week I came to the church, sat down in a pew and thumbed through the Psalms.
I figured that David or somebody in one of those songs could verbalize what I've been feeling.
I found Psalm 69.
Verses 1-3 describe that sense of loss of control, comfort, safety, or security.
Verse 4 acknowledges the enemy without. There is opposition. It's real and it's people.
Verse 5 admits that at least some of the trouble is my own fault.I have been foolish at times. I deserve the consequences of poor choices, weak moments, indulgent excesses.
Verse 6 reminds me that I may be a stumbling block to others when I fail.
Verses 7-8 reveal the tell-tale effects: I can cause others to fail.
And so I cry out as the Psalmist, David did in verse 1: SAVE ME, O GOD, and verse 29: RESCUE ME, O GOD, BY YOUR SAVING POWER. Then I will raise God's name with singing, and I will honor him with thanksgiving.
I believe that in this world we will have difficulties and enemies and circumstances and distractions and sorrow and pain and loneliness and a host of other sad feelings and emotions.
But God is good. He is loving and kind. He forgives and forgets. He picks us up from the mire and deep waters and puts us on solid ground. He drys us off and clothes us with clean clothes. He gives us new starts. He provides our needs. And best of all He never leaves us alone.
Well, I feel better already just getting all that off my chest.
I haven't depressed you, have I?
Try reading Psalm 69 and praying through that wonderful Psalm.
It helped me.
let me know what you think.
Don